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Discuss You know you have been in the army to long when you ? at the Armed Forces Jokes forum within the The Army Rumour Service website; Originally Posted by Mark The Convict
http://www.arrse.co.uk/now-thats-wha...ght=old+sweats 15 pages' worth here.
Fuck, checked it out, ...
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16-12-2011, 23:05 #11Senior Member
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Fuck, checked it out, looks my weekend will be filled reading all that. Sadly, the first few rang true.
Originally Posted by Mark The Convict
The above is a temporary digression while I ride one of my hobby horses, a rant by me a soldier, failed lothario and inmate of a proudly independent country, founded by thieves and whores. The gratuitous opinions and comments contained above are more scatological than ideological. Scientific tests conducted by "The Ponds Institute" have determined that I have a very tenuous grasp on reality. You are reading the thoughts one of the biggest wanker currently walking around on four, oops, two legs. I have an ill-informed opinion on pretty much everything. In conclusion there is no truth to the rumour that I am a Philanthropist, Sesquipedalian, World Traveller, and Bon Vivant. Although, I may or may not of been associated with Left and Right Wing authors & lecturers, travellers & bums, wars fought, revolutions started, assassinations plotted, uprisings quelled, governments run, subversion's organised, Communists terrorised, bars emptied, bars filled, Virgins converted, Tigers tamed, Crocodiles castrated, and students tortured.
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16-12-2011, 23:12 #12Oh, Crikey, are we still using D11's, I'll be back in tomorrow! Originally Posted by batfink5537
HNC in Profanity,
HND in Depravity,
Masters Degree in Insanity.
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16-12-2011, 23:14 #13Member
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You wake your wife up to tell her it's her stag
sirbhp likes this.Give them Nothing But Take from them Everything.
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16-12-2011, 23:19 #14
You wake your wife up to tell her you want a shag.
HNC in Profanity,
HND in Depravity,
Masters Degree in Insanity.
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16-12-2011, 23:26 #15Member
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Fuck waking her up, I just open her up!
Give them Nothing But Take from them Everything.
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16-12-2011, 23:46 #16Member
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When all the new recruits posted to your unit look as old as your daughter/son etc.
Squaddies unwise enough to eat are confronted with standard_that is, inedible_cookhouse fair. if boiled is good, fried is better, and steamed, then boiled, then fried, seemed to be their idea of culinary Nirvana.
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17-12-2011, 09:14 #17Senior Member
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You know you have been in the army to long when you ?
.....Get a sore knob from shagging the wench because despite recalling all the pornos you've watched or decent shags you've had, you just cant cum.
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17-12-2011, 09:30 #18Senior Member
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Awaken on your second day and think WTF have I done.
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17-12-2011, 09:35 #19Senior Member
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Call your better half a 'necky crow' for daring to bring your attention to something that you may, I say may, have missed i.e. nag. Mrs H_M 2nd wants to know why I am calling her a bird with a big neck.
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10-01-2012, 13:34 #20Senior Member
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when you did your first annual camp with the army cadets in northern ireland (196
I WILL BLEED ON THE FLAG TO KEEP THE RED IN THE CROSS OF ST GEORGE.
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