ARmy Rumour SErvice

I had a second reason but in retrospect it was my fault (using iPhone on this site is a nightmare)

Nope his gear was gone, in the space of a few months locker doors were wrenched off, I had cash and medals go, computers went it was a nightmare, especially because we couldn't lock most of our rooms as the Q wouldn't pay for new locks and didn't have any master keys, the general consensus, for a number of reasons was that it may have been a pad on duty, all the thefts were reported to the RMP, who in turn did fuck all, didn't speak to anyone, didn't act. Correct me if I'm wrong but they have the ability to fingerprint, they have the time to at least investigate (however difficult it us to ping thieves) and surely their presence in the block and their subsequent actions may have deterred the dirty cunt who was ripping off his oppos.

Originally Posted by Biscuits_AB

An RMP Guardroom?

Yeah, like a normal guardroom but with RMP in it.

Never had a problem with the RMP through my entire career. Been interviewed by them once as a 17 year old after the 'bootie in a fat fryer incident' at Brize Norton, but that was purely to see if I'd heard or seen anything. I hadn't and was let go after a brew and a tab. Had a free lift home a few times after walking up Queen's Ave and had a very friendly one do security for a mate and myself as mate got sucked off by a whore in Split in '93.

I also haven't got a problem with CIVPOL as I've never had anything to do with them. Everyone I know who hates RMP or the Police is a scrote who's always in bother. Funny that.

Originally Posted by Yeah_Innit_Blud

Yeah, like a normal guardroom but with RMP in it.

I too would like to hear details of this fictional RMP Guardroom, what with such things being banned by various regulations & everything.

Originally Posted by Hector_Chavez_V

...the fucking fat little toad of an RMP bird following him out screaming at him for having the temerity to report an incident whilst pissed

That's what's known in RMP as...'blowing it out'. Good to see that she remembered her training though. Occasionally the silly buggers take that sort of shit on. You wouldn't believe the amount of paperwork it creates.

Originally Posted by Roger_The_Cat

So best to suspect us all.

Equal opportunities.

Why I hate the RMP ?.. About 1988 in Herford, A bezzer was waiting for me in the Cafe Wichdig while I carried out my minibus driving extra for the Regimental squash team. Having leapt onto the scene late I was 1000x sober than said bezzer. An hour after gettin down town a situation aroze & Ollie was asked to leave the premises. To cut a long story short I hauled him into a cab muttered the only bit of jarman I knew " Maresfeild Kassernre bitte" to the driver .. then off we went. About 100yds from the gate Ollie announced he was about to unload the giros he had earlier.. backed up with several gallons of Herfy/ Lowenbrau/ kemerling. The boxhead driver slamed on the anchors & orderd us out. I thought.. thats cool.. I got 100yds to make him look realativly sober before signing in. Just as we got to Willys bar carpark.. Ollie took two steps to the right which suddenly ran away with him causing him to face plant straight into the fag machine in the wall. After I had finished laughing I noticed him being hauled into a RMP Landrover & being driven AWAY from camp. Catching up with him the following morning when he was on close arrest the fuckin monkeys had warned him he may well be charged with attempted robbery ( pending enquires from Willy ) , amoungst a tidal wave of othe Army act 55 "offences". To this day I have no idea how you can headbutt a fag machine off a wall to rob it. But in the eyes of the RMP its possible. Assholes IMO, always looking for an easy nick.

LT

.......so your mucker was a drunken, incapable cnut and got lifted? Stop the press!!!