Defence Secretary Des Browne today announced the successful completion of the sea trials for the UK’s newest frigate.

HMS Indecisive is the first of the so called ‘Class Q Subsection 2a’ battleships to be built under the government’s new rules of engagement.

Armed with two forward firing gun turrets for purely ceremonial purposes, the ship’s main line of defence comes in the form of the three decks of administrators, efficiency consultants, and risk assessors. The latest state of the art conference facilities help ease the burden of paperwork, EU directives, and other legal niceties.
Along with its creche facilities and aromatherapy centre, Indecisive also has a fully equipped boardroom where navy personnel can run stress councilling services for hostile aggressors.

The ship is armed two white flags, fore and aft, and can be scuttled in a class-leading fifteen seconds. In the case of a real emergency, the ship is also outfitted with communications gear allowing them to make immediate contact with the nearest US navy battle fleet.

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I was indecisive there with my attachment!

Make full speed to the arrsehole.....

Not a cat in hell's chance.

Too good a swipe at the Government whilst honouring those members of the Senior Service who bravely slept without sheets, folded blankets because they didn't have pillows and endured beings called rude names whilst being flicked on the back of the neck.

Do you think the head and board of governers will exclude the iranians for 5 days for bullying?

You are joking aren't you? That is awful. Someone should tell the press.

The press release forgot to mention iPod battery chargers on mess decks and in cabins and; in the RIBs and work boat.

We wouldn't need them, never quite managed to decide what to download onto the damn thing.