Bandalong:
Hope you don’t mind my contribution:
Never had a shag, but had a good $hit.. Sorry for off topic, but…..
Twas approx 10 years ago upon which I worked for a certain helicopter operator in the Middle East. I won’t call them Abu Dhabi Aviation in case any one thinks that is who they are.
Anyway, I digress…
With much thanks to my Chief Engy at the time, he reckoned it would be a good idea for me to spend a few weeks offshore, stay off the pi$$ etc…..etc…
I was thus suitably assigned to the glorious accommodation/water injection rig Umm Shaiff.
The helipad was miles (I only slightly exaggerate) from the accommodation pad.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, as the engineer I had to be there at least 1 hour in the morning before the pilot for pre flight, fuel checks etc.
06:00, after 10 days and many curries, I was feeling slightly gurgly in the old guts.
Doing my preflight one morning, I was grabbed with cramps and promptly shat myself into my overalls.. I was “commando” at the time as it was feckin hot.
No problem, I will just climb into the back of the 212 and clean myself up with the blue roll which we handily keep on the aircraft for wiping grease, pilots foreheads etc...
There I was squatting in the cabin with my overalls down my ankles bollocky naked wiping my hoop with blue paper and admiring the bits of corn and tomato skins, when the door slides opens and the pilot looks in and says “oh hello”.
Promptly slides the door shut and signs the paperwork without a look and starts up as quick as he can and fecks off into the deep blue yonder.
Fair play to him, kept it quiet but cost me a few crates.
What........
NEVER? never
EVER? There I was feeling sorry for
myself!
