Ref my last the hoover uses electricity, so she can get the carpet beater out, dustpan and brush under it too.

The plan is simple, we misuse the media to get all the tree hugging bean flickers in one place. Then we let one of those ageing 747s, still flying despite the dodgy wiring, to drop out of the sky on them. Heathrow is ideal and the planes taking off have a full fuel load.

Result, MilliTant Flambee. Charred dykes as far as the eye can see!

You then have no trouble with rancid lezzers protesting outside your new missile base as you set it up. You get a new cold war, arms deals, tea and medals all round!

The French first trialled the idea with a hotel full of Jap tourists and travelling salesmen using a tatty old concord! Three cheers for the french! (a first on this site I think)

Sh1tty death, what this? No duff! I'm flying back from outer-fcuking-midnowhere in a week into Terminal 4, are these bartewards going to delay my re-aquaintance with the wrong side of Mrs Short's duvet?

Gen question as there's only Asia World news here.

Weather is lovverley in Beijing and Almaty but I haven't got a scooby doo what's going on in the real world.

Help!

Apart from being very impressed by the technical PR skills of the camp spokesman "Gary" on Breakfast news this morning, I was slightly less impressed by the PR own goal going on in the background. Somebody, who I later discovered has changed his name to "Vegan" for the purposes of the protest, was rummaging in his Land Rover Discovery.

So come on eco-warriors, make your minds up - am I evil personified in my 4x4 or just popping up the road for a bit of green activism??

PS This is NOT a trick question.

BAN FAIRTRADE FOODS, if they cant make it taste nice on its own merits then Tough Sh1t.

MAKE POVERTY NOW! I want to be able to afford 3 whores at a time in underdeveloped countries. So Bono and Bob can turn it fcucking in.


To Feckin blokes who go to protests, there are easier ways of getting laid and you wont spend so much time trying to get rogue pubes out the back of your throat.

And to Terence Stamp at Live Earth, MAKE YOUR FECKIN MIND UP! you didnt give a toss when you were General Zod out of Superman.

What happened to the good old days when the Rozzers just used to tw@t hippies over the head with a truncheon at Stonehenge, lets have an arrse day out and pi$$ in their lentils.

Our slogan could be Give P1ss a chance

Badum tschh!!

Quality!

Not the JP234 campsite denial weapon? Now banned but designed to spread pork pies and scratchings across a wide area, denying ground to lank-haired vegan hippies, dogs on strings, samba bands etc.

Make Bob Geldof History, He is polluting the world with people with stupid names.

Make Bono History, Anyone who goes on about how he still hasnt found what he's looking for, at the same time as wearing sunglasses indoors deserves a fcuking slap.

I also think we should make Ricky Gervais history.


The backlash starts here folks.

Is Swampy dead?

If so ..Good!

Tell them via the media that their camping site has been contaminated by toxic chemicals, hence it is only good for a concrete runway, when the site soil has been treated and removed.

Yeah, SOAP!

Can we throw bricks through the windows of those bloody awful shops that sell incense, dreamcatchers, belly button rings and little ornamental wizards? 'Cos they really do get on my t1ts, there is always some fat bird, dressed in black and purple with makeup like Widow Twanky on crack, sat behind the counter in looking at a star chart.

It would have been easier if we had just shot everyone who went to watch that Al Gore film

Yeah bt all that aside...I'd shag 'er!

The other front page media story was about a pack of hounds ripping someones small mutt to bits.

Considering many of these protesters are also likely to support the hunting ban, how about we organise hunting hippies with hounds?

The unspeakable in full pursuit of the unwashed? Hunting back on, and hippies getting ripped to shreds - two birds with one stone!

We should appoint officials to place subliminal messages in newspaper and magazine horoscopes.

Get those that actually read and believe in that crap.

KILL YOURSELF

AND YOUR CHILDREN.

Astrology my arrse.

Just been listening to a 'debate' on jeremy Vine show featuring a guy from BAA and some throbber from the camp, plus a screechinhg, shrill harridan from the camp too. They overide anything anyone else wants to say by parroting rote-learned crap and faux statistics.
Would not a glance back at climatology history persuade them that climate change, catastrophic weather/odd weather et al was happening 100 years before Wilbur and Orville did their levitation. Could hardly blame Branson's Virgins for that! Although I'm willing to try.

If they spent a bit less time sitting in tents smoking gange and came up with an enviromentally friendly alternative to the jet engine, we wouldnt be in this bloody mess.

Top spot and spot on zxniner.